aim/net lovin

sooo i was having a convo wit a friend today. i asked him what i should blog about. he said, "idk nothingg bout that, write about feelings over thee net".

i laughed at first.
but then realized, that is a perfect topic to blog about.
especially sincee where i'm bloggin is THE NET.

there are those few that will NEVER meet sumone over the net. or ever give sumone thee timee of dayy over the net. but what those few fail to realize is our society is advancing their technology. instead of going to dating services, ppl are signing up for match.com or the infamous, MYSPACE.COM.

before i decidee to fullyy blog about this, i want ppl's opinions about NET LOVIN.
it can do with experiences not only thru these dating sites, myspace, facebook, or blogspot.
but any means of technological communication.

tell me how you feel.
please.
=)

excerpt;

" ...and he said, 'come here baby, i want you to massage me.'

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I didn't understand.

'Come here baby, I want you to massage me,' he repeated. He took me by the hand and lead me to the master bedroom of my parents apartment. Their apartment. To their bed. He picked me up and layed me down on the bed. He gazed into my eyes and wiped my hair off of my forehead to get them from out of my eyes. He stroked my cheeks a few times before kissing me on my lips.

'Don't worry baby i won't hurt you. This is going to be our little secret. No one will know what a naughty girl you have been.' He said.

I stayed quiet. Quivering in my pajamas. I've never experienced anything like this before. Wait a minute, I'm supposed to be massaging you, i thought. Why am I layed out on the bed? Then he starts unbuttoning his pants, still gazing deeply into my eyes. As if he saw something so pure, so innocent, so attractive. He started towards me, reaching for my pants. I quickly jump up.

'I don't want to massage you anymore,' I said.
'Shut up! If you don't be quiet I'm going to tell everyone what a naughty girl you have been!' He screamed in my face.
'I don't want to massage you anymore. I don't want to massage you anymore.' I repeated it over and over again. Finally, he grabbed me tight pulling my weak and helpless body towards him and covered my mouth. Scared, I consented. "


My life is a story ready to be read. &Nd that is what I intend to do with it. I'm going to pour my heart and soul into a novel that tells the story of one girl's, A REAL GIRL'S struggle with life. Stay tuned for more excerpts;

forbidden;

The rule book says that you are sposed to honor your homies wishess.













thats whyy i havee a forbidden lovee; its hard cos thats the wayy it has to be evn tho you dont want it to be. but because of thee codee, i havee no choicee but to be helpless in this situation. lovee is a war &Nd i'vee lost all thee battles. I'm wonded, in thee hospital bed, someonee savee mee.

answer thisz question

loyaltyy; a quality or state or thee instancee of beinq loyal.

loyal; faithful in allegiance to one's lawful sovereign or government.

(definitionsz taken from www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary)

not onlyy does it mean for one`sz lawful or qovernment, it qoesz for friendsz, familyy membersz, and/or qirlfriend/boyfriendsz.

i needd a question answeredd ;

"if a familyy memberr kan breakk theirr loyaltyy to youu, kausinq youu to losee trust &nd faithh in all thee relationshipsz inkludinq tht onee.. kan youu reallyy be ablee to trustt anyy onee elsee ..?"

answerr me thisz question. pls. i want yourr honestt opinion.

-justina

First post

"Love is a Friendship on Fire"

All of us spend our days & our nights looking for love. We dedicate our lives to find someone who is as compatible with you as yourself. To find someone who makes us feel comfortable in our own skin, let us lash out with our true selves, without feeling any remorse in doing so. Some of us find it right away &nd some of us die trying.

I feel like i've died trying.

I'm a lover &nd a fighter. More so a lover. All i want is for someone to give me as much love as i give them. Someone who will call me their everything as i do them. Someone who will look into my eyes, see the sparks that they ignite, &nd see that myy heart is true &nd loyal to them. Someone who i can trust with everything thats on my mind, &nd to trust them N0T to judge me for my thoughts. Someone who hold me so close to their body as if they wanted us to transform into one.

I've been thru my share of relationships, my share of boyfriends, &nd my share of flings. I've noticed that i trust thee ones who hurt me &nd ignore the ones that love me. From day one, I tried to show them that I CAN BE A GIRLFRIEND. That i'm THAT woman. That i'm THAT person. But the moree i pushedd it on them, thee moree i pushed them away. The more i showed them my feelings the more vulnerable i became &nd the moree pain i felt. How can sumbody really NOT wanna be with someone like me?

Then it hit me.

Not only must you build a friendship first but you must love yourself. Everything in the past doesnt matter anymore once you found the second half to your heart. All the hurt &nd pain that was caused, should stay in the relationship where all the hurt &nd pain derived. You CANT trusst everybody but if you walk around TRUSTING NOBODY, noone will ever want to get close to you. Noone will ever think that you are ready to be good enough for anybody. Dont let what other people do to you carry into the new relationships you have with people. You gotta make Y0U feel like Y0U are worth something.

Although it helps to have someone there boosting your self esteem &nd self confidence, you must believe in your heart that you are worth something. Because noone will ever think that you aree unless you trust it first.